The Kombucha Mushroom People!
What the hell is Kombucha?
The other day, I was aimlessly following my girlfriend around Walmart while she did her shopping. At one point, she was looking for beet juice (ew), and as we were near the juices in the cooler section, I noticed something.
Kombucha Tea
I immediately smiled and started singing "Sugar" by System of a Down. 🎵 "The Kombucha mushroom people sitting around all day!" For decades, I've sung those lyrics without having a clue what Kombucha was. So, naturally, I thought this was the best thing ever. My girlfriend had wandered off at this point, leaving me to pick up a bottle and start reading about it. Turns out, it’s packed with probiotics, and since I’ve been saying I need to eat more yogurt to work on my gut health, I figured this was worth a shot.
So, I proudly snatched it up and stumbled around Walmart looking for my girlfriend, cold bottle of Kombucha in hand, still singing, "Who can believe you, who can believe you, let your mother pray."
That's a strong smell
Once I got the bottle home, I cracked it open, and oh man—that’s a strong smell. It’s a fermented beverage, so I guess that made sense, but I wasn’t sure I was going to like it. Turns out, it’s not that bad. The trick is to hold your breath when you take a sip. The flavor’s actually pretty good once you get past the smell.
I’ve been sipping on it for a few days now since I read you shouldn’t consume more than 12 ounces a day. It’s too soon to notice any health benefits, but I have noticed one thing: my poop smells BAD. Way worse than usual, lol. That’s probably a good sign though, right? My gut must be getting all that good bacteria.
I'm going to keep drinking it for a week or so to see if there are any long term benefits. That is, after I buy some more. The first bottle is already gone.
Progress
It has been a few weeks since I first started drinking Kombucha, and the results have been similar to that of yogurt. I’m speaking from my own personal experience as someone who goes on yogurt kicks, then avoids it like the plague. After a few weeks, I’m more regular—if you know what I mean. I also seem to have a bit more energy and don’t feel as tired and sluggish as I did before. Was it the Kombucha? I don’t know for sure, but it’s the only change I’ve made to my diet and routine.
Upon reading about the effects of Kombucha, I’m not fully convinced it does much at all. It could just be a placebo effect. Some say the probiotics in the drink don’t do anything because your stomach acid kills most of them before they make it to your gut. That may be true, but like yogurt, the bacteria that do make it past your stomach are likely the beneficial ones your gut needs in the first place. I guess you could give yourself a Kombucha enema to settle this argument, but I think I'll pass.
The jury is still out for me, but I enjoy the taste, so I’ll keep drinking it as long as I can afford it. I’m too afraid to attempt to make my own.
